His Outstretched Hand

A week ago this past Friday I had an unexpected car accident. You might laugh that I say 'unexpected' but to me it's fitting. Because coward as I am (and those close to me will attest to this) the one thing I never expected to have was a car accident. Driving was the one thing I never feared. I never feared driving no matter where I had to go and was never fearful as a passenger. And for just a few short days after Friday, September 17, that almost changed.

I had just dropped my daughter off at her Friday night Video Ministry class. This year they are learning how to film and run the audio equipment for the Sunday sermons. My daughter wants to go into film making and works on many projects on her own, but this opportunity through her youth group is a one of a kind. So Friday nights are quite busy because in addition to her drop off and pick up, in between I pick up my son at the train when he gets in from work. In the area where I live there is one main road that is very heavily traveled. It's nearly impossible to go anywhere without venturing on to it, but I never thought twice about it. It was about ten minutes before eight and I was driving back from the church with twenty minutes until I had to turn around and head back to that area to the train station. I was debating on whether to buy a cup of tea to take to the train station. Up ahead cars were slowing down and I did too. Always cautious, I glanced in my rearview mirror. And I knew instantly that I was going to be hit. I remember few things about the accident because I believe in my panic and fear I blocked most details out. But I remember one thing. I remember looking in that rearview mirror and calling out "God, no!".

And I remember the sound of metal on metal, brakes screeching and parts crunching. Looking back now, jumping out of my car in the middle of a busy road was quite foolish. Even though I've been told not to keep playing that scary scene in my head, I find myself rewinding those moments to answer my own questions. Why didn't I move? Couldn't I have moved out of the way if I knew that car was going to hit me in the rear? After all, I knew I was going to get hit. And because I analyze every thing that I see, hear and experience, I was wondering why God hadn't stopped the accident. Then, just as that car had hit me, the answers did too.

For years I always worried about all the driving and running that I did for my family. I did ask myself, more than once, 'What would happen if something happened to me out there and my husband was at work? Who would take care of my two children?'.

Now I believe that accident was my answer. Most definitely not the way I would have liked my questions answered but an answer none the less. Remember, He always answers our prayers but not always in the way we would like. And we know that if some good couldn't come out of our trials and troubles He would not allow them. So I believe He has shown me what would happen if something happened to me while my husband was at work. Because that night He gave me a calm head despite the intense anxiety and fear I was battling. Calm enough that I got out of that truck and called 911 immediately. Calm enough that I could describe where I was and what kinds of vehicles were involved in the crash. Calm enough to move my car to a safer location to await the arrival of a police officer. Calm enough to answer questions. Calm enough to call my son and explain to him that he needed to get a cab, cab to the church, pick up his sister and get them home and wait for me. Calm enough to leave a mesage for my husband and reach out to my parents to come to my home for support. I believe it was His outstretched hand that kept my hands calm enough to dial those little buttons on my cell phone on a dark road and reach out to those who I love and love me.

I made it home. Albeit it was a slow crawl home in my smashed up SUV but I made it home. And my children made it home and into my worried arms. Shortly after that my parents arrived with comfort and reassurance that I would be fine. And followed by them my husband arrived, anxious to see that I was truly ok. There were my answers. What would happen to me? He would give me the strength and grace that I need to take care of myself. Who would take care of my children? With the strength that only He can give, I was able to take care of my children and in turn they took care of each other.

It has always made me feel stronger to believe that God is beside me, guiding and protecting me no matter where I go or what I go through. Yes, I was not able to get out of the way of the car that hit me. Yes, He allowed the accident to happen. But I believe in what I call 'His outstretched hand' and I believe on that Friday night it was His outstretched hand that brought me through that accident. To show me that I have nothing to fear. That He will always be beside me.

And in that I found yet another answer. For after the accident I spent several days asking myself "How will I get behind the wheel again? How will I get on that road again?" Then I remember how I got through that accident, shaken but completely unharmed. His outstretched hand.

I am back behind the wheel again and I have nothing to fear. I never had any fears about driving before and there is no reason to have any fear now, especially now. Especially now that I have felt the touch of His outstretched hand.